Trying Not To Blink: A Poetry Collection Read online

  Considerable hassle and expense

  And the inevitable awkwardness

  By clicking, and browsing

  Instead of traveling

  To see people reforming

  Old cliques for a night

  Sticking together

  Drinking together

  Like they did twenty years before

  Showing the world they’re still the same,

  Or seeing those solitary loners

  Who are only going

  Because they have something to prove

  And show how much they’ve changed.

  I, like most, am opting to choose

  Living in the present

  Eschewing the drive

  Down memory lane

  Declining the invite

  And spending the night

  At home, with family

  And the future

  April 3, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  My 20-year reunion is coming up this summer and it got me thinking about how Facebook has pretty much killed the allure of going to a reunion. When we had our tenth reunion, I had hoped that everything would be different from how I remembered high school being. I had hoped everyone would have grown up and people would not get all clique-y as I was genuinely interested in talking to pretty much everyone and getting to know what people were up to. I was so wrong. It was like most everyone had powerful magnets in them that pulled them back to their same groups. I was disappointed.

  Anyway, because of Facebook, there’s no more mystery in it anymore. I know what and how everyone is doing and can see pictures and everything.

  Ranting Old Man

  Ranting old man

  Agitated voice elevated

  Threatening everyone he saw

  Damning finger pointing

  Feeble fist pounding

  Hollow words spewing

  In a dizzying circular motion

  Like an angry CD left on repeat

  Until someone decades younger

  Scooted into the situation

  Put their arm around him

  Quietly apologized

  And guided him away

  While looking back

  With a sincere frown

  Of embarrassment

  April 3, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  This didn’t happen, but rather the idea for it popped into my mind, so I wrote.

  Spending Time

  Spending time is like

  Spending money

  The only difference is

  Life doesn’t take credit.

  Spend your time wisely

  And on what you truly love

  Because when you’re almost out

  And looking back on life

  You don’t want to see

  A house filled with useless junk

  But rather, one filled to the rafters

  With wonderful experiences

  And adorned with happiness

  April 3, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  When I was writing “Thanks To Facebook,” I wrote the line “spending time,” and the idea of comparing spending time to spending money came to me. This may seem basic, but I had never thought about how similar the concepts are.

  Break

  Back when I was young

  When the school day was done

  You only had two ways

  To communicate with friends:

  Seeing them and

  Calling them.

  Since phones were

  Hardwired and shared

  With the rest of the house

  We got a break from being social

  We got a chance to be ourselves

  Play in the yard, read a book

  Watch TV in peace

  Each and every evening

  Kids today are on-stage

  All night and all day

  Calling, emailing

  Texting, sexting

  Twittering, Facebooking,

  Skyping, KIKing,

  Instagraming, IMing,

  All of this and it’s still

  Nowhere near enough.

  Through their

  Hurried desperation

  They crave more

  Communication

  More ways to connect

  So many means

  And no way

  To turn them all off

  Kids today don’t get a break

  To step away and be kids

  April 3, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  Kari and I were talking about this the other night, how kids these days have to be “on” almost 24-hours a day. I can’t imagine the incredible social pressure they’re under with the complex array of online/social media/communication things they’re all into.

  Whimmy

  For when

  Doing things

  On a whim

  Is the norm.

  For when

  Life sings

  Impulsive

  And you act.

  For when

  Living needs

  Description.

  Whimmy.

  April 6, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  This morning, on the way to work, Kari said something about doing something on a whim, and the word, “whimmy” popped into my head.

  Assumptions of Belief

  Religious holiday approaching

  Strangers broach the topic

  With biased assumptions

  Colored by their own

  Assumptions of belief

  Because of how I look

  And where I live

  They think therefore

  I must have the same beliefs

  Wanting to avoid

  Inevitable confrontation

  I don’t correct them

  It’s easier that way

  April 6, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  Unless specifically asked for, I think people should just be polite and keep religious and political statements tucked quietly in their heads.

  Comments Section

  If you’re the kind who revels

  In wholesale, anger, hatred,

  Bigotry, negativity, and vitriol

  Plan to visit the comments section

  Of any news website

  Common sense and

  Thoughtful discussion

  Are in short supply

  It’s where the crows

  Who are looking to

  Demean and belittle

  Bemoan and libel

  Come home to roost

  Cawing on about conspiracies and

  Shouting down any opposing view.

  The sites allow this

  Because the bitter crows

  Keep coming back

  Increasing the page hits

  And making them money.

  In this equation there is

  No place for positivity

  April 6, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  Gee-whiz! The comment section of any news site (local or national) is filled with the most awful, angry comments. Now, after I read an article, I refuse to scroll down further; I don’t want to have my mind tainted with their poisonous negativity.

  Members Only

  Older smug man

  Wearing a forgettable

  Flimsy gray jacket

  The thin epaulettes

  Popping from the shoulders

  Catch my eye

  Which drop to the tag

  Members Only

  Sewn over his heart

  White letters on black

  Meant to sound elitist

  Like some private club

  You have no hope

  Of ever getting into

  If you have to ask

  You don’t belong

  Members Only

  Which implies

  He’s better

  He’s a step up

>   He’s a cut above

  In reality

  It merely shows

  He buys into brands

  He needs the names

  The exclusivity

  To feel good about himself

  Like a mild form of

  Economic bullying

  Showing he has

  Poor self-esteem,

  A set of values,

  And a fashion sense

  That hasn’t progressed

  Since the 1980s

  April 12, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  Released From The Cerebral

  Characters

  Stories

  Plots

  Sub-plots

  Twists

  Turns

  Dialogue

  Action

  Endings

  Beginnings

  Ideas for

  Dozens of books

  All of which

  Turning

  Churning

  Bouncing

  Back and forth

  In my head

  Waiting

  Wanting

  Straining

  To get out

  Through my

  Fingertips

  Clicking

  On my

  Keyboard

  All of them

  Everything

  Needing to be

  Released from

  The cerebral prison

  They were created in

  April 12, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  I’ve got too many book ideas and not enough time to get them all out.

  The Dachshund Emerged

  Tiny heart-shaped nose

  Poking out from under the covers

  Like a periscope

  Sniffing, sensing, learning, informing

  Him of how his day may start

  Shaking his head

  Freeing it of the blanket

  Stretching his comically long body

  Making his dappling dance

  Like an elongated

  Cute tube of dog

  The dachshund emerged

  And trotted on with his day

  April 12, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  Every morning, when I get up, I look back at the bed and see the two noses of our two dachshunds sticking out from under the covers. It’s really cute.

  Lack of Permanence

  Packing

  Unpacking

  And repeating

  Constant upheaval

  Constant repetition

  Sometimes it seems

  We live out of boxes

  I find the lack of permanence

  Somewhat distressing

  Something like

  Twenty residences in

  Twenty years

  Is a lot to take

  Each time I ask

  Will this finally be it

  Then, after a while,

  The process begins anew

  Jump into a moving truck

  And again, off we move

  Hopefully, this time

  Will be the last time

  Then again, I believe

  I’ve said that before

  April 17, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  Subpar

  Wrote two

  Deleted two

  They were subpar

  Didn’t make the grade

  Too trite

  Too simplistic

  To allow them to continue

  This one isn’t so great either

  But serves more as a warning

  For the other

  Lesser poems

  Yet to be

  If not for this poem’s purpose

  I’d be three for three

  April 19, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  I wrote a poem, thought it wasn’t that great, deleted it, immediately wrote another, thought it was trying too hard, deleted it, and then wrote this one.

  Hypocriting

  Santa look-alikes

  Each and every one

  Torsos obscured

  Unseen and invisible

  Floating hands out

  Demanding money

  Conflicting with the snake

  Warning not to tread

  Preaching from the truck’s bumper

  Thinking takes a backseat

  Twisting around morals

  Hypocriting at every turn

  April 19, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  Lazy Tumble

  Looking at the faint reflection

  Of the vertically-lined wood paneling

  Of the wall behind me

  The round piece of glass

  From the dryer in front of me

  Behind which our clothes tumble

  Counterclockwise, distracting me

  From the tidy wall lines I wanted to see

  At the other end of the humming dryer wall

  Was an older woman, with glowing red hair

  Sorting, drying, folding, choreing

  While being bossed around

  By an older man, roundly large

  Parked in a motorized scooter

  Porkpie hat on his head

  “AC/DC” strangely on the side

  Childlike shoes on his feet

  Kept snug with Velcro

  He pointed and spoke sharply

  In a language I didn’t know

  Paying him no mind, she did her duty

  Ignoring his terrible tone

  As I’m sure she’s done for decades

  I turned up the volume on my iPod,

  Sat back, and allowed the lazy tumble

  Of the clothes to re-distract me

  April 21, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  It’s a tiny laundry and I really prefer it when I have the whole place to myself.

  Shoe-Deep In A Puddle

  A big storm forecasted for tonight

  They say it’s a nor’easter

  And, while they might be correct,

  I look at the rain and doubt it.

  Instead of snow measured in feet

  Rain will be totaling a few inches.

  To me it’s not a nor’easter

  Unless we’re buried in snow

  Not shoe-deep in a puddle.

  April 22, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  MAY

  Someone Else’s Desk

  Working out my notice

  Day-to-day desk-hopping

  As I’m assigned to sit

  At someone else’s desk

  I take inventory of my surroundings

  And am having trouble finding anything

  Everything seems to be in the wrong place

  Nothing but awkward positioning

  And careless placement

  I have a good mind to re-arrange

  But I know this is a temporary desk

  So I sit and try to conform to their settings

  I wonder if it was the same for them, at first

  But maybe they learned to make do

  Instead of changing their surroundings

  I wonder if they are as miserable as me

  Or if they even notice it anymore

  May 4, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  Things I’ve noticed and the thoughts inspired by them while working out my two-week notice.

  Photo From The Future

  Out somewhere

  Where someone helping us

  Was wearing a name badge

  I looked at the photo

  And up to her face

  And back to the photo

  And tried to figure out

  The half-decade discrepancy

  In the opposite direction

  It was as if her older self

  Was there in the picture

  Like a photo from the future

  While the youn
ger her

  Was standing before us.

  If I were her

  I would lose my ID

  If I were her

  I would want a new picture taken

  A newer, younger picture

  May 4, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  Kari went to see a doctor and a nurse helping us had the weirdest photo on her badge. It was like she was visibly half a decade younger in real life than how she looked in the picture. I know it was because she had a much older-lady hairstyle in the photo and a much younger one today, but it still struck me as funny.

  Whose Benefit

  Pick a desk

  Any desk

  In any office

  Look for personal pictures

  Which way do they face?

  Will they go unseen

  By the casual visitor

  But are always visible

  To the desker?

  Or, are they front and center

  Facing out, away from

  The occupant

  Looking at a client or co-worker

  Think for a moment

  On the message being sent

  Whose benefit is that picture for?

  Theirs or yours?

  Are they trying to impress,

  Or reminisce?

  Answer that and you’ll know

  What kind of person

  You’re dealing with

  May 4, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  While working out my last two weeks at work, I was told to work from the desk of someone who was out today. On top of the cabinet above his desk, he has pictures of his kids. From his seat, he cannot see those pictures; only people who walk into the office can. What he can see from his seat are pictures he clipped out of magazines of deer that are hung up inside his cubicle. It got me thinking, which, in turn, got me writing.

  Five Years

  Like a flash of light

  In brightness and intensity

  The years have flown by

  With you and I

  Having jumped off so many

  Cliffs, personal and professional

  Riding high on the clouds

  Of our dreams and desires

  Not stopping to look

  Back or down

  Forward we go

  Leaving realized dreams

  And happy memories

  In our wake

  Thank you for these five years

  And for the place we are

  A long way from where we started

  And a long way from where we’ll end

  May 5, 2012

  Northampton, Massachusetts

  For our fifth anniversary.

  940 Saturdays

  Looking at the box

  Perched at the end of the row

  The one we all focus on

  The one we wish would grow

  Wider than normal